0.93 A$$holes per Mile

Yesterday my wife, kids, and I made the seven hour trek down to Western Maryland from our New England domicile.  We usually make this drive at night so that the kids sleep the whole way, but this time we decided to make it a day drive.  The traffic wasn’t too terrible, but after being cooped up behind the wheel all day I wanted nothing more than to stretch my legs and get a run in before dark.  I had already mapped out some runs to correspond with the distances called for in my training plan.

Once the car was unpacked I changed clothes and quietly excused myself with a casual “See you in a half hour or so.”  I was excited about trying these runs because when I did the topography on the map it seemed like a pretty hilly run.  My run started at 680 feet, and by mile 2 I was aroung 1040 - nice long steady climbs.

Did you ever notice how good some ideas sound in the abstract until it’s time to actually do them?  The hills were killer.  The humidity didn’t help either.  Still it wasn’t a terrible run as far as pace went.  I was able to do the 4.3 miles in 35:52 (8:21 min/mile). 

What did make this a terrible run was the a$$hole per mile ratio.  A$$hole #1 screamed out his window right as he passed me and scared the crap out of me.  A$$hole #2 flicked a cigarette butt AT me.  Lucky for me his timming was a little off.  A$$hole #3 swerved into the break down lane forcing me to scrape my knee on the guardrail.  A$$hole #4 went back to the unimaginative scream.

My running form was for shit.  My upper body was tense the entire time.  No loose shoulders for me.  After a$$hole #2 I started flipping people off.  I thought for sure the 4th guy with the Semper Fi bumper sticker was going to turn around and come back.  When I fliiped him the bird he stepped on the brake and pulled over.  When I turned around and started walking towards his car he pulled back into traffic and kept on going.  I was pissed by this point.  He was the fourth guy to mess with me and if my “Why is a Marine messing with a Corpsman?” thing didn’t work I was resigned to fight the dude.

This is uncharacteristic for me, and I’m sure it was just the adrenaline from getting startled four times talking.  When I got back to my family member’s house, they asked about my run.  I told them that they have high a$$hole per mile ratio. Four a$$holes divided by 4.3 miles = 0.93 a$$holes per mile.  They laughed. 

Anyway, it’s another run in the books and it was some good hill training.  I used the downhill time to my advantage too. I’ve been working on my downhill stride and trying to eliminate the tendency to brake with each foot strike. It’s a work in progress. I have two more runs scheduled while I’m down here in Maryland.  Hopefully, the a$$hole ratio will be lower on those runs.